


The Sun

by peppergoji



Series: Starlight Au [1]
Category: The Owl House (Cartoon)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Pre-Canon, Bittersweet, Blood and Gore, Body Horror, Emotional neglect, Emotional/Psychological Abuse, Gen, Growing up with a delusional cultist for a father isn't exactly going to lead to a happy childhood, Line breaks indicate pov change, Mentions of genocide, Original Character Death(s), Original Character(s), Psychological Horror, Psychological Trauma, Tragedy
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-11-21
Updated: 2021-01-29
Packaged: 2021-03-09 20:29:07
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 3
Words: 14,459
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27622075
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/peppergoji/pseuds/peppergoji
Summary: Everything has it's opposite. What would happen if the most hateful, merciless person in the land was granted their opposite, not as an adversary, but as someone they're supposed to cherish and love? In the case for Belos and his child, Apricus, it falls into emotional turmoil. Just because someone loves and is loved that doesn't mean they'll automatically become better, and Emperor Belos is no exception to this rule. Heavily Canon Divergent AU, takes place 13 years before the events of The Owl House. Co Authored with 50shades-of-blue on tumblr and ao3.
Series: Starlight Au [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2019550
Comments: 9
Kudos: 11





	1. Post Reunion

Golden claws rapped against the cold arm of his golden throne, The Emperor idly counted the seconds that passed by while the courtier continued to blather on. It was about some proposed tax reform, which, based on what half of the conversation Belos paid attention to. Beyond a shadow of a doubt, he was sure it was to line the pockets of a small handful of nobles while not bringing about any meaningful benefit to him or anything he cares about.

Belos heaved a sigh, not caring just how plainly his boredom was portrayed in his body language and voice. The petitioner gulped, quaking in their boots at the mere idea of angering their emperor. “M-My liege, I believe that I have made my point. I’ll leave you to deliberate on what I-”

Belos waved his hand. “Fine fine, get out of here already. And don’t try bothering me with this trite display of avarice again.” He muttered hatefully, his ethereal voice bouncing off of the high ceilings around them. The heart to his back was beating at a leisurely pace, but even this mild display of distaste was enough to get the petitioner fleeing for their life out of the room.

A few short weeks ago Belos might have balked at displaying such a blatant display of ill temper in front of his subjects for no real reason. Sure, his empty black sockets may have never had any warmth for his subjects, but he still had appearances to maintain around anyone with some semblance of status. But that was then, and this was now, and now Belos rose from his chair to go see what his new priority was doing.

“You’re dismissed for today,” He bade his guards while he strode across the room. Despite his enormous size, the cloaked tyrant walked with a quiet step, so silent it was almost as if he glided across the ground. The amorphous outline of his outfit certainly aided in this illusion, and the thought of this brought a soft chuckle to Belos’ throat. “A white specter, floating about as if I’m light as a feather.” He whispered to himself. Belos knew this was a tad bit silly, but it was a way to fill the silence.

_It’s so quiet. Where are they?_

The heart at the center of his castle skipped a beat, and Belos picked up the pace as he hurried past wall after wall of stoic statues and illustrious paintings. “They should be here now. The trip was only going to last until this-” The sound of ringing laughter and an opening door made Belos stop in his tracks, and his neck contorted like a twist tie while he angled his head to point towards the origin of the sound. The emperor let out a sound of relief and straightened out his body back into a more roughly humanoid shape.

He walked to the opposite side of the castle near the front entrance. Leaning his head around a pillar to peek, there Belos spied the two that he seeked conversing near a set of stairs. Kikimora, standing on a high step currently had her hands busy grabbing and tidying a mess of brown and wavy locks. “Apricus, you really ought to ask around before sticking your nose in other people’s business.”

The person being addressed was laughing away while Kikimora pried another twig out of their messed up bun. “Yeah, but at least I told you to watch before I tried climbing it. How was I supposed to know that was an ent?” They replied in good cheer, their eyes a pair of orange crescents in the wake of a toothy grin.

The emperor wasn’t able to observe them unnoticed for too long though, when Apricus happened to glance away from Kikimora and spied Belos looming between the arches. “Father? How long have you been standing there? Get over here!”

Apricus raised their hands energetically, waving them forwards and behind them. Belos stepped out into full view and came to where he was beckoned, then craned his head down to better look at the two while he loomed overhead. Now that Belos was closer, he could see that there was a fairly large red mark on the left side of Apricus’ face. The emperor made a low droning sound as his eyes stared into the bruise.

“You were hit in the face.” He said in a soft voice that had the faintest quiver to it.

“No, I landed on it!” Apricus corrected him, folding their arms together with a soft huff. “I don’t like picking fights father, you know that.”

The mental image of Apricus deliberately trying to throw a punch at someone made a tinkling laugh come out of Belos. “No no, of course not. However, climbing up on a creature would be more than enough to draw their ire…” His eyes narrowed, not needing to finish the sentence to make his inkling of anger apparent.

“There wasn’t any fight, no hitting, no squabbling.” Kikimora said definitively as she stood up to look at Belos. “If anything the ent thought Apricus was endearing and we had a great laugh over it. So don’t get your arms twisted in a bunch.”

Belos tilted his head, and his gaze softened. “I see. I still-”

Apricus reached up for their father’s shoulder. “Can I _please_ tell you about how cool the ent was? It was enormous! It wouldn’t have even fit in this room!” They burst out, before immediately looking sheepish for interrupting Belos.

“Hm, well alright then.”

Apricus let out a huff, and then put up their hands to gesture while they told their story. Belos tried to pay no mind to the pair of crescent moons on their palms. “I’ve been dying to! Anyways, it’s this big old tree that looks kinda like that tree statue we have in the garden except _way_ bigger. I think it was the size of the castle maybe. It had this great big bushy beard, except it was made out of branches and leaves. Me and Kiki saw it from far away and I thought, ‘hey you know that tree looks kinda like Father when he forgets to shave, I’m gonna go poke it-’”

Belos snorted, and went ahead to stitch together a chair since he knew this was going to take awhile. Kikimora was affectionately exasperated as she put her hand to her head. “What is with you and poking the most dangerous creatures you come across? Or petting! Is a trash slug or an ent really that adorable?” The chicken witch clucked.

“Yes.” Apricus said with a quirked eyebrow and a dignified pout before continuing.

“So I ran up to go climbing over this giant tree, it really wasn’t hard because the bark was so rough there was a ton of grooves to grab onto. So much easier than trying to go up brick let me tell you.” Apricus continued to ramble avidly. Belos listened and nodded along, clearly engrossed in what his child was saying even with their quick pace.

“...Wait. You climb up brick?” Belos asked as it occurred to him.

“I have fantastic nails father! Check them out!” Apricus, getting almost immediately derailed from their story, brandished their claws at Belos and held them up so he could look at them. They were jet black and coarse from use, but could still probably cause a decent injury if they were turned on someone.

Before Belos could fully process that, Apricus launched right back into their story. “Anyways, I just thought they were a big old tree, and I’d made it about halfway up when I got to this big knobbly part. It was around where the beard mustache combo was and it occurred to me, ‘Hey that kinda looks like a nose!’ So I stand up to check it out. I keep grabbing it while I look around, ‘cause I don’t wanna fall you know? But just as I was getting a good look, the nose started _breathing_. And before I can say ‘What on Titan?’ The big bugger sneezes on me and sends me falling to my certain death!” They say cheerfully.

“Apricus I caught you-” Kikimora started, before Apricus started to immediately shush her. “Noooo, you’re spoiling the story Aunty!” They whine.

At this Belos starts to make this wheezing sound as he clutches at his chair. It took him a moment to stop coughing and catch this breath, and it was then that Apricus continued with a cheeky grin.

“Anyways, just as I was starting to try to see if I can fly, Aunty Kiki had to come swooping in on her staff to catch me out of the air. I smacked my face on See-See’s back, and that’s how I got this.” They point to the roughly chicken shaped bruise on their freckled cheek.

“Then, the ent opened its eyes, I swear they had to be a quarter the size of the dining room table, and it asked in this big booming voice,” Apricus stood up and spread their arms out as they pretended to be the ent. _“I thought those squirrels had moved aAA-_ OUT” Apricus had to pause their impression voice crack that sounded like a dying cat, and coughed while they stretched their throat out. “Wow, I don’t like that.”

Belos however loved it, and he tilted his head back while he cackled and snorted away. _“Goodness_ Starlight!” He put his hand on his gut and let out a sigh while he sat up. “Go on.”

Apricus tossed one of their long bangs. “Right, I kinda don’t remember too much after that, but when I woke up the ent said that they think I’m the cutest squirrel they’ve ever seen. And then they picked me up in this giant root and put me at their tallest branches. The view was incredible! I could see Bonesborough from up there!”

Belos wasn’t laughing now. “Apricus, did you get a-” His eyes narrowed, and he snapped his fingers as he tried to remember the word. “A concussion.”

Kikimora shrugged. “If that’s what you call passing out from getting hit on the head too hard, then sure. I healed Apricus right after and they’ve been just fine since.”

Belos lifted his hand and pointed at Apricus’ faint bruise. “Then why is that still there?”

“I wasn’t done healing them yet, you know I don’t use that type of magic often.” Kikimora replied as she turned to pick the last few twigs out of Apricus’ hair.

“Kiki, how bad was it?” Belos asked, his hand now aglow with his signature brand of red magic as he cast his own healing spell on Apricus. The teenager for their part just held still and glanced off to the side while the scant remnants of damage were repaired.

“Not terrible, a little worrying but they’re a tough one.” Kikimora replied, undoing the messed up braids in Apricus’ hair to remake them.

Belos made a mirthless laugh without opening his mouth. “They’re _human_ , tough doesn’t normally belong in the same sentence.”

Kikimora looked over at Belos with a dour frown. “Really now. Now that you’re actually you’re actually paying attention you’d be surprised.”

A heavy silence came over the three of them as the tips of Belos’ gauntlets started to sink into his chair. Apricus glanced between Kikimora and their father awkwardly as they pursed their lips. “Well I thought today was great. The ent had frogs living in it near the center ‘cause it trapped a lot of water around the trunk. I think I could spend a whole day climbing around on it if I wanted to.”

“I would prefer if you didn’t.” Belos said in a strained tone. Kikimora looked up at Belos’ face with an unimpressed expression, and Apricus cleared their throat.

“Anyways. How was your day father?” They asked, turning up to Belos with a smile with the change in topic.

“Dreary. The vassals are blithering idiots like they always have been.” The emperor answered, making no attempts at hiding his scorn. Apricus bit their lip and tried to come up with some kind of idea to cut the tension.

“Why don’t we go for a walk father? Maybe we’ll find a bug. Or even a beetle!” They suggested with an upturned finger.

Belos slowly turned his head to look back at Apricus instead of glowering at a statue, and he started to relax again. “Haven’t you had enough adventure for one day Apricus?”

Apricus shook their head and put one of their hands on their hip. “Me? Nah! I already had time to nap already, I’m raring to go! Besides, a little stroll by the park doesn’t take much energy.” In a display of enthusiasm they leapt to their feet and did a small pose as they extended their hand up to their father.

Kikimora let out a soft hum. “Weren’t you talking about going to bed early tonight? Because you’re “totally worn out!”” She remarked, mimicking Apricus’ high pitched and energetic manner of speaking.

Apricus bit their lip and looked over their shoulder to shoot a betrayed expression at Kikimora, and she smirked. Belos took no offense to the white lie, and reached over to ruffle their hair with his armored fingers. “You’re so happy to see me that you wanted to push yourself anyways...” Belos tilted his head as he felt something warm and bright fill his hollow chest.

He had been feeling like this much more often as of late, ever since Apricus had come home. They'd always been good at making him smile, but he hadn't noticed just how much his own happiness had mattered to his child up until recently. _Never again will I ignore the sun’s glow._ Belos silently promised.

Apricus started to fidget as Belos kept staring at them without saying anything. "Okay, you got me." They let out a huff. "I haven't been able to see you all day father-" They started to argue, but Belos put up his hand.

"We’ll read instead. That won't tempt you into diving into the bushes like last time." He straightened his posture and rose from his chair, and as he willed it the twisting sinew and bones that constructed it unravel into nothing.

"Come along now." Belos told Apricus as he headed towards the castle library. The youth tilted their head. “Huh, okay. Sounds good to me.” Apricus got back off of the steps and trailed after their father, their brown leather boots tapping against hard tile while Belos moved silently. After walking for a short time, Apricus paused and looked behind them.

“Isn’t Aunty coming?” They asked, but Kikimora had already left the room and was nowhere in sight. Belos then stopped, hesitating to comment on the situation while his hands started to clasp around nothing. “...She’s gone back to her duties. I doubt she’ll be joining us.”

“Aw. Later then I guess.” Apricus murmured their disappointment, and then continued following after their father. Belos waited a moment before continuing his pace so that the two could walk side by side down the hall. Despite the occasional greeting from castle servants or the random member of the emperor’s coven, the castle was heavy with an odd stillness that mildly unnerved Apricus. Belos could see the question on their face before the teenager could ask it.

“I’m going to ask a question, and I don’t mean to make you mad. But did something happen between you and Aunty..?” Apricus reluctantly asked, their eyes wide with curiosity as they craned their neck upwards to look at Belos’ golden mask.

“Yes.” Belos answered in his usual terse way. But then the emperor glanced over and saw the dissatisfaction his response garnered in Apricus, and he softened his manner. “She’s upset with how I was treating you. Before you left I mean.” Belos looked away from Apricus and let out a sigh. “We had a rather...severe disagreement during your absence. I doubt she’s forgiven me yet. Understandably.”

“Oh, jeez. Ah-Alright.” Apricus replied, and turned to look at their destination with their fingers knitted together.

 _They’re nervous. Or perhaps they’re blaming themselves again._ Belos noted. _That won’t do, I want my little star to beam._

Scarcely bending his elbow, Belos placed his hand on Apricus’ shoulder as they entered the castle library. Shelf after shelf of tomes from all across the demon and human realms alike were packed against the walls almost all the way up to the ceiling. “Which one do you want to pick out today, little one? A new assortment of human fantasy novels were just found.”

Belos raised his hand, and a series of books flew off the shelves and floated in the air between the emperor and his heir. One of the titles caught his eye in particular, and went to Belos’ hand for him to inspect. “Perhaps this would strike your fancy?” He turned the title around to inspect the back. “‘Nor Crystal Tears’, ah. It’s about talking bug people, you’d love this.”

Aprius’ eyes lit up when they saw the book. “That sounds really cool! Yeah, I’d read that.”

Just as Apricus was about to ask for the novel from Belos, he turned and walked down to the other side of the library before stopping before an enormous reading chair. It was a tower of upholstery, over 10 feet of red velvet and intricately carved dark wood. The perfect size for someone of Belos’ stature. The emperor seated himself, his arms and legs stretching out comfortably as he settled into the chair. Then his mask turned to face Apricus, the book already open in one of his hands while he stared at the teenager expectantly.

“Er, father? What are you doing?” Apricus asked, not getting the meaning of his gesture.

Belos in kind tilted his head. “We’re reading together.”

Apricus made a flat line with their mouth and scrunched up their eyebrows. “Father, _I’m 15_. You do know that right?” They asked.

Belos closed the book and sat up, his tone contemplative. “This was something you loved to do.”

The teenager let out a heavy sigh. “Yeah, when maybe I was a child. I don’t even remember the last time you read to me, how old even was I?” They retorted.

“You were five.” Belos answered quietly as the implications of what he had done dawned on him.

Apricus made an exasperated laugh as they shook their head. “Yeah I was five! Come on father, let me have the book and I’ll pull up a chair next to you, okay?”

“ _Ah, right.”_ Belos whispered to himself as if in a trance. He held the book in his hand while he lifted up a finger and a chair that was beside a library desk was cloaked in red and came sliding to the side of his seat with a long screech.

Apricus flinched at the noise, but nonetheless came over to Belos’ side and settled in. Belos offered the book and his child took it with a soft hum, and they opened the hard cover to start on the first page. The emperor then summoned his own book, randomly selecting one from the many titles surrounding them both and opened it up, but even though his eyes were looking at the pages he didn’t read a single word.

 _It’s been ten years._ He repeated in his mind over and over again as he felt the pit in his stomach sink ever lower. Ten years that he’d missed, and for what? The same dull, petty tests of patience like he’d endured earlier today? The long hours spent secluded alone, lamenting and despising the world he was working to build? How many times had he turned Apricus away when they had come to him to share their joy, laughter, kindness, and appreciation? _I left my child alone for ten years._

Belos felt his eyes start to burn and his heart twist, and so like usual he tried to stuff it down so that he wouldn’t have to feel this pain. But then he heard Apricus let out a little gasp as they reached a certain part of the story, their eyes wide in amazement at whatever spectacular thing the book in front of them had described to them. _I can’t afford not to feel. But I don’t want to feel this._

“Father, this book is incredible! These mantids are so-” They looked away from their book to see Belos staring at them again and gripping his book so hard he’s left dents on the cover. Apricus immediately became concerned, and reached up to put a hand on his arm. “Are you feeling alright? You look uncomfortable.”

The pain in Belos’ chest was cut through with affection that came as a result of this gesture, and it continued to spread as Apricus stayed concerned about his well being. Despite his erratic behavior, destructive tendencies, and neglect, his dear child still loves him. Now this was something he could focus on, and he did so eagerly.

“ _No matter how wretched those below might be, the stars above shine brightest in a pitch black night.”_ He uttered his thoughts out in a sing-song tone.

Apricus squinted in confusion and curled their lip ever so slightly. “Father that doesn’t answer my question. Have you eaten recently?”

Belos tilted his head, and the direct question brought him back to reality? “Hm? Oh, yes. I’m fine.” He patted Apricus on the hand and got started reading his book like nothing had happened.

Now Apricus was staring holes into him, but since Belos didn’t seem the slightest bit inclined on elaborating further, they let out a huff and sank back into their chair. “Well alright, if you say so.” They shook their head and tried to find where they had left off, and the two of them went on to read in fairly companionable silence for the next few hours.  
  


* * *

After getting a quarter of the way through the book, Apricus felt their joints start to get stiff so they put the title down on their lap and stretched their arms out with a yawn. “Dang, I’m bushed. I think I’m going to-” Now that Apricus wasn’t focusing on the fantastical world put to page, they were assaulted by a swarm of hunger pangs. “Nope, nope. I’ll go help Aunty with dinner. It’s probably around sundown right?”

They looked around the library and let out a sigh, since this was one of the innermost parts of the castle there wasn’t a single window in the room. Not that Belos would have ever wanted them there in the first place. _For a guy who likes to dress in all white, he sure makes a lot of places dark._ Apricus mentally remarked.

Belos was staring at seemingly nothing again, but it wasn’t long until he turned to look down at Apricus. “The sun has just set, so it is time.” With that, their father closed his book and arose from his seat to start heading out of the library.

“You’re having dinner with us?” Apricus asked, tilting their head with a small smile spreading across their face. _That’s a nice surprise! Maybe father really means it this time?_ They’re quick to get to their feet and trail after Belos, the fabric of their robes rustling as they move at a hurried pace. Not that they needed to, Belos waited so that they could walk down the hall side by side again.

Belos turned his head ever so slightly. They couldn’t see his pupils, but Apricus could tell that he was looking at them out of the corner of his eyes. “Oh yes. I’ve done enough work for today.” He said in the warm, gentle tone that Apricus recognized as his ‘I’m very happy with you’ voice. The teenager did a small fist pump and whispered. “Yes..!”

 _I didn’t even have to do anything to get his attention this time! This is great!_ They thought.

 _You should have never had to._ Said a quiet voice in the back of Apricus’ mind.

Apricus’ smile faltered while they glanced off to the side. They didn’t want to dwell on any lingering feelings of loneliness and regret, not what they were finally getting what they’ve always wanted. _I think he cares now, it’ll be fine._

They had hesitated for a moment, but they hurried up the pace to catch up with Belos before he seemed to have noticed. “I wonder what Aunty’s going to make tonight.” They said to pass the time as they walked down a flight of stairs.

To Apricus’ surprise, Belos actually had a reply for that wasn’t _Don’t we have servants for that?_ “Probably an omelette, with some kind of fruit and some bread. Toast perhaps. If she’s had time to prepare then some kind of meat and vegetable stew…” He hummed as he raised his hand up to the end of his beak.

“Any of those would be good. Let’s hurry so she knows to make enough for all three of us!” Apricus suggested, already grabbing a couple fistfuls of their robe.

“I don’t-” Before Belos could finish his sentence, Apricus was already dashing down the hall, their hiking boots clunking against the floor tiles rapidly. The thought of food overrode any exhaustion on their part for the time being, and they laughed as they ran.

By the time Apricus gets to the kitchen they’re winded, and lean up against the edge of the doorway into the room to catch their breath. Kikimora had heard them coming from all the racket they were making, so she turned her head away from the stew she had set up earlier that day with a gentle smile on her face.

“Hey there Apricot, you want to help me set the table?” Kikimora asked. Apricus let out a small grunt and put their finger up while they continued to catch their breath.

However, just as they were starting to recover, the most revolting squelching sound Apricus had ever heard came from the center of the kitchen. Kikimora startled and ended up dropping her ladle into the pot of stew. When they both turned to look, they got to see Belos stitching his body back into the physical plane right in front of them. The emperor may not have had any organs, but Apricus was able to catch short glimpses of his bones before his skin grew to cover them.

“Oh hey father.” Apricus commented nonchalantly, used to the sights of flesh twisting and amalgamating after spending their entire life around Belos and exploring The Boiling Isles. “How come you didn’t just run? I was trying to race you.”

The eye sockets on Belos’ mask half-lidded. “Really now. You didn’t say a word of that to me.” Apricus got an impish grin on their face as Belos approached them and Kikimora. “Well, maybe I wanted a head start since I know you can teleport.” The teenager replied cheekily.

The chicken witch was fishing the ladle out of the pot with her magic while Belos took a step closer to his child. “How unruly of you starlight...”

Apricus for their part looked right into where they thought Belos’ eyes were and beamed up at him. “You just now noticed? You got a lot to catch up on.” They teased, their fangs poking out from their wry grin.

Belos’ eyes widened and his hands clenched as he didn’t find Apricus’ joke funny in the slightest. _Yikes, somebody’s sensitive._ The teenager let out a sigh and blew their bangs out of their face.

_You don’t need to apologize. After what Belos has done, he can take a few jokes._

Apricus frowned and looked off to the side while continuing to think about the situation. _Yeah, but I hate making him unhappy. I want him to smile._

The youth stretched out their arms. “Hey father, what do you think about what Aunty’s cooking? Smells great right?” They asked as they resumed their jaunty grin. Belos was still staring them down with an expression that was borderline unreadable due to the mask, but Apricus was able to notice that he started to relax again when they stopped being so severe.

“Hm? Oh, yes. It smells delicious.” Belos turned to Kikimora, who hadn’t addressed him yet. But when eyes were on her, she turned away from the stew and licked her messy fingers. “We have plenty here to go around, would you like a bowl?” She asked with a stoic expression.

Belos raised his hand. “No, thank you.” Kikimora shrugged and went back to tending to the stew, but Apricus felt the need to speak up as they felt concern well up in them.

“But you haven’t had dinner father. And I don’t want you to go without eating, that puts a lot of strain on you.” They say with a creased brow as they tried to smile reassuringly at their father.

“Apricus, I-” He stopped mid sentence in a rare display of hesitation, and let out a sigh.

_I knew it, he won't keep this up. Even if he missed me I've never been enough to keep his attention._

"I'll go get myself seated. All this talking has worked up an appetite." He finished. A mixture of guilt and relief swept through Apricus' anxiety at those words after expecting a different answer, and they forced an easygoing smile back on their face.

Their lapse in poise hadn't gone unnoticed, and Kikimora was glaring into Belos while the emperor in question was clenching his hands again while he stared down at Apricus. Tension hung in the room like a cloud of smoke, so Apricus decided to take their leave.

"Ri-iiiight! I'll go set the table!" They laugh nervously before grabbing a set of bowls and spoons and starting to scurry off again. However, before they could head back out, Apricus felt a breeze, and there to their left was Belos standing right next to them. They glanced up at their father, and then the two of them went walking side by down the hall.

A heavy stillness settled while Apricus got to work setting the table. Even without looking at Belos, the teenager felt his eyes on them watching their every move while he stood deathly still near the table. They thought they knew Belos fairly well after spending their entire life with him, but in these past few weeks the emperor had thrown off their entire routine.

Apricus almost wished that Belos would just sit in his chair and ignore them like he usually did. Almost.

The last spoon was put in it's rightful place in Apricus' bowl, and then the child turned to face their father with their hands clasped together. "You know, I think this will be the first thing I've ever seen you eat something other than apple pie." They said casually, trying to make conversation while they waited for Kikimora to come by with the finished stew.

"Yes, that's true." Belos said flatly, not having much to say on the matter to Apricus' disappointment. _And we'd been having such a great time earlier._

Apricus gave their father a nod of acknowledgement while they took their seat, and let out a sigh as they leaned into a chair that was far too tall for them. They closed their eyes and took a minute to try to empty their mind and relax. They heard the sound of a chair sliding in front of them, but they didn't open their eyes as they worked on finding their center. Of course, their mind could never truly be silent, and it wasn't long until they heard a familiar voice whisper to them.

 _Your hopes are misplaced Apricus. You're not the first person to think the best of Belos only for that trust to be their unmaking, he_ **_will_ ** _hurt you again._

_We all end up hurting people if we want to or not. What decides if a person is worth sticking around for or not is how they react to that realization._

Apricus opened their eyes to look up at Belos, their features reflecting their somber mood despite their gentle smile. Belos wasn't looking to see the pain in their eyes anyways, he was staring at their hands while his own were knitted together. The light of the chandeliers overhead made his metal gauntlets glitter as their flames flickered, the beads of their warm glow shifting as Belos extended his fingers as he slowly started to reach for his child. However, when he noticed that Apricus' eyes were on him he hesitated and returned his arms to their previous position.

"Apricus..?" He started, though Belos' words died in his throat when the pitter-patter of Kikimora's tiny clawed feet was heard not too far from them. Belos turned to look at her and so did Apricus, and the youth made an 'o' with their mouth when Kikimora floated the pot of soup to the table along with an insulation pad.

"Neat! I'm so hungry!" Apricus cried, the joy of seeing food completely sucking up their attention from anything else. Without asking anybody, Belos grabbed the ladle and Apricus' bowl to serve them some soup before placing the bowl back. Thanks to his long arms, he had no issue reaching over and doing the same for Kiki's bowl, and then finally his own. He only put in a single scoop in his own, unlike the hearty helpings he put for the other two.

"Oh! Thanks father." Apricus replied, pleasantly surprised at Belos' behavior. Then they turned to Kikimora as she was climbing into her chair and beamed at her. "Thank you for cooking Aunty!" Then they turned to the ground with a respectful nod. "And thank you Titan for growing all of these good vegetables."

With that done, Apricus dug into their meal, letting out a hum as they enjoyed the salty and savory flavor of the warm stew. They could barely keep themselves from pigging out in front of Belos, but they keep up some semblance of manners while they wolf down their meal. With everything packed away in the stomach, they let out a contented sigh and lean back in their chair. "That was delicious!"

Kiki's lips curled into a smile around her spoon, with her little fangs poking out around the edges. Apricus always thought Kikimora looked so mischievous whenever she smirked like that, and without fail it got them to start grinning themselves. Then they look up to their father, who had one hand around the end of his mask to tip it up just enough so that he could have his mouth barely exposed. Then, with his free hand, he picked up the bowl of soup and-

Apricus realized that they were staring and took their eyes away from Belos so they wouldn't make him self conscious. They knew how much he hated his true face being looked at by anybody, so despite their curiosity they decided to respect his wishes. Though they couldn't exactly help from listening to the absolutely disgusting slurping noises Belos made through his method of eating.

"I always wondered how you don't get anything stuck in your proboscis father." Apricus asked idly as they put their spoon down in their bowl.

Belos paused, presumably to wipe his mouth and put his mask back on before responding. "The Titan has blessed me with much, my child."


	2. Building Tension

The rest of dinner managed to go on without incident. Sure, it was still painfully awkward since Kikimora refused to have much of a conversation with Belos and his own speech with Apricus was plenty stunted in it’s own right. But at the very least it hadn’t ended in disaster. Aside from the youth saying kind words to their pet bird before sleeping all was quiet from their part of the castle. Still, he kept his ears trained for any muffled sobbing.  
  
The emperor’s hand twitched, grasping at his cold brass throne in the castle basement. How many times had he listened to them weep and refused to raise even a finger? How many times had he left them to feel worthless and alone when he could have at least tried _something_ ? _Anything_ . Belos felt something burning rise up into his throat, but he kept it from spilling out this time.  
  
The fleshy tendrils that coiled around the floor and walls of his room started to constrict around jammed gears and burst pipes, and his weathered eyes were greeted with a vision that put the tyrant somewhat at ease. Apricus was curled up in bed, a blade of moonlight settled on their soft features while they slept peacefully.  
  
_They haven’t abandoned you again, at least not yet._ _  
_ _  
_ _“Such a fate will never again need to befall us.”_ Belos quietly promised. But how could he be so sure? An uncertain peace could never be considered a true success. For a fleeting moment he had been happy with the bare minimum, _that’s pathetic._ He thought bitterly, his anger directed only at himself for once. He raked the talons of his gauntlet against solid metal, leaving long grooves.  
  
“ _I can’t just flail about wildly and hope for the best. If I am to truly remedy the wounds that I inflicted into our lives, I must identify the best course of action and stick to it._ ” He declared to himself. They were pretty words meant to invigorate his spirit, but without any clear details they did little to dissuade his gnawing unease. Belos leaned back against his throne as he started to wrack his mind for more specific details.  
  
He rapped his fingers impatiently. Belos imagined them now, in his mind eye they were so small they only came up to his calf. Tiny, but utterly fearless as they came scampering over to him.  
  
So what if they didn’t have magic? Who else on the Isles trusted him so implicitly, loved him so recklessly? Everyone else, even down to the youngest child could inherently feel his power and were terrified of him for it, or worse yet wanted to try to exploit that power for their own degenerate uses.  
  
To get any better reactions Belos had to lie or mislead, to make the disgusting wretches he ruled over think he was something he wasn’t. But such thoughts had never crossed Apricus’ mind, they were too sweet and innocent. Sure, he couldn’t show them the more violent and hateful parts of himself, but what he displayed towards them was always effortless and true.  
  
The round faced cherub in his memory was laughing as they gazed up to him, their voice bright and clear like the ringing of a bell as they held up a two headed toad as an offering between their fat little hands. Their white princely outfit was speckled with dirt, and their shoes were so caked with mud their original color was completely unidentifiable. Doubtlessly they had spent the entire afternoon trying to fetch him this one animal after he’d made an offhand comment about finding amphibians interesting.  
  
The mental image certainly stirred up warm feelings in him, but no concrete ideas that he could use. The Emperor shook his head and propped up his head. “Belos, you need to focus.” His head turned to the side, and his eyes narrowed as he got an idea. “I know what would give you more _motivation_ .” Belos murmured with a thin edge of menace. At who? He wasn’t sure.  
  
Lifting his hand off of his throne, Belos turned his palm up towards the ceiling. A bolt of red magic danced across his fingertips, and from a space between this reality and somewhere else, a piece of yellow parchment dropped down into his waiting hand. He held the folded paper carefully while his magic receded from it, inhaling sharply as he stared it down.  
  
When Apricus was gone, it hadn’t left his hands the entire time. This letter was Apricus’ thoughts and feelings directed at Belos, and he had clung to it then to feel as if at least some small part of them was still with him. But now as he eyed the stained leaf, he felt himself hesitate. Could he-  
  
“Yes. I can handle a few words from my own child.” He rasped harshly as he carefully unfolded the letter. The letter, inked with a well practiced hand and legible despite a myriad of green splotches, read as follows:  
  
**_You are probably wondering why you’re finding this instead of your staff, so I will answer you. I took it, right from underneath your nose without you ever noticing that I was there. It was rather easy actually, since I seemed to have become invisible to you a long time ago._ ** **_  
_ ** **_  
_ ** **_But I am beyond the point of asking you any more questions, not that we could engage in such things anyways. Now, to get to the point. I have always loved you for as long as I can remember, and likely long before that. But you do not love me back. I’ve accepted this finally, and that there’s nothing I can do to change how you feel, or how I feel for that matter. Now I want to exist on my own terms. I want to be happy again._ ** **_  
_ ** **_  
_ ** **_I hope you’ll be happier too, you should be now with one less person coming to pester you. I just wish that us two and Aunty could have laughed together one last time. But that’s just one of those childish fantasies that I need to leave behind._ ** **_  
_ ** **_  
_ ** **_Have a nice life._ ** **_  
_ ** **_  
_ ** **_-Apricus_ **  
  
He felt himself falling even if he was staying still, and if it weren’t for the fact that he was already seated he would have dropped to his knees. The emperor slumped backwards, the horns of his mask clattering against the polished metal backing. Still he was falling, and a burning pain like flayed flesh exposed to air was spreading in his chest. Then, unbidden, a familiar question clawed its way into his mind.  
  
_What kind of worthless person drives their own child away?_  
  
It hurt to breathe, let alone think, but still in vain he tried to direct himself.  
  
_“With a dagger of strife, an equal pound of thy flesh to be cut off and taken.  
Scour and scrub thy life, ‘tis the only way to amend with thy dearest begotten.” _ _  
_ _  
_ He wanted Apricus there in his arms, slumbering in the utmost peace, trusting that no harm would ever befall them. He couldn’t count the number of hours they’d spent together like that, his sleeping child wrapped up in the arm of his robe as their blanket and their little head supported by his palm.  
  
Unconsciously, Belos drew his arms around himself. The previously temperate and humid air of the basement was now chilling him to the bone, he was almost tempted to use a flame spell to warm himself with, but he felt no motivation strong enough to drive him to action.  
  
Even if Apricus was physically only a few floors above Belos, the distance he’d put between the two of them couldn’t be measured. He felt something sticky and heavy congeal in his throat.  
  
_It won’t be long until they won’t need you anymore Belos. And then they’ll cast you aside for good. You’re out of time._  
  
_“I will tear apart the heart that’s been sealed, the answers will appear to me so long as I search with zeal. I...I am their father. My use is simply concealed.”_ He muttered, his voice starting off strong before tapering off.  
  


* * *

  
  
Apricus lay there in their bed, dreaming of talking slugs in a deep and twisting forest. The slugs weren’t particularly nice, and when the youth awoke all they were left with was a mild feeling of disgruntlement as they rolled over in their bed. They continued to lay there with their eyes closed, hoping to get in a few more minutes of slumber before one of the servants came in to wake them for the day. But, try as they might, they weren’t able to go back to sleep. Still, they didn’t want to get up just yet.  
  
“Rise and shine my little star.” Said a familiar melodic voice.  
  
“Muh..?” They mumbled before rubbing their bleary eyes.  
  
Apricus let out a soft grumble, but begrudgingly they forced themselves upright. They sat up in their bed with a yawn, and reached up to brush the stray strands of hair that had gotten into their eyes during the night. The siren call of their warm silk sheets was something to beware, so they cast them off haphazardly and got to their feet. 

Turning to see who had woken them, they were greeted by a familiar pillar of white, and they craned their head to see Belos' golden mask looming over them. "Huh." They say with mild surprise before a sleepy smile came to their face. "Good morning father." They stretched out their arms before walking around him to get to their bedroom door, and just as they were turning the knob their blood ran cold.

Apricus didn't remember hearing him getting inside their room.

Before any anxiety could take hold, Apricus let out sigh. _I was out like a light, I probably was just too tired to notice._

Opening the door, they stood aside so Belos could go ahead first. However, he just stood there, his fingers interlocked while his empty sockets bored holes into Apricus. The youth scrunched up their face before remembering themselves. "Right, you like walking beside me now." They recalled before heading into the hall themselves. Sure enough it wasn't long until Belos was by Apricus' side as they made their way towards the kitchen.

It was while they were walking that Belos made an idle comment. "I hope you aren't too exhausted today Starlight. You kept making such irritated grimaces while you slept."  
  
One of those found its way onto Apricus' face right then and there. "You watched me sleep?" _What the fuck, what the actual fuck? It's bad enough he hears everything, but now this?_

 _As far as you know this is the first time._ Their inner thoughts added unhelpfully.

Apricus was staring straight ahead so they couldn't see Belos' expression, but they heard his tone of voice change ever so slightly. "You aren't happy about this?"

The youth bit their tongue and shook their head no. "Nah, can't say I'm a fan." Apricus replied tersely. They upped the pace to get some amount of distance between them and Belos, but the emperor matched stride.  
  
"I see. I won’t make the same mistake again.” Belos answered in a way that Apricus wasn’t sure to make of. _What mistake father? You getting caught?_ Apricus thought bitterly, but then they stopped themselves. It wouldn’t help them or anyone else if they picked a fight over this. It didn’t stop Apricus from feeling resentful though.  
  
Belos was staring down at them, probably expecting Apricus to say, _Oh, that’s alright father! I’m just glad you’re spending time with me._ They gritted their teeth. That’s exactly what they would have said in any other circumstances. But the day had barely even started and Belos was already bringing out the magnum bullshit. _Why did I come back? I know I felt bad about the staff but-fucking hell Apricus, you know how manipulative he is._  
  
They remembered Belos’ words spoken to them just three weeks ago while he embraced them in the streets of Bonesborough.  
  
_"Oh, the staff? I lost sight of such a trinket through the torrents of rain."  
"But in my darkest night, I found you, my child. Let's take you home." _ _  
_ _  
_ Apricus clenched their fist as they recalled this moment, and ghosts of the shock and melancholy that had filled their chest when they saw their father cry for the first time. _Why couldn’t he have cared when I needed him?_ Apricus ground their teeth together in response to this internal dilemma, and as a result almost went right past the kitchen before Belos interrupted their thoughts.  
  
“Aren’t you going to eat?” The emperor murmured. That was enough to rouse Apricus out of their thoughts, and they stopped in their tracks before turning around.  
  
“Right, I’m a little distracted today.” They plaster on a smile that doesn’t reach their eyes and head onto the room. As was typical in Belos’ castle, there was always a bounty of fresh and delicious food stored in one of the main ice boxes, and there was scarcely ever a moment that the oven wasn’t burning.  
  
Walking into the left wing of the kitchen, Apricus strode past one of the many counters and lingered in front of a bread pantry that they knew the sweet rolls were located in. However, the youth remembered that they weren’t alone, so they kept moving. They perused the various cabinets, passing by baskets of bread and fresh fruit, but all they could think about was the pair of glowing blue eyes they knew were directed their way.  
  
Sure enough, when Apricus glanced over to Belos he was still looking at them silently and expectantly. _Why does he keep staring at me like that? I’m not even doing anything._ Their irritation renewed, they grimaced and upped the pace before stopping in front of some of the hanging cured meats. They grabbed a few sausage links before turning back and snagging a small loaf of bread and an apple on their way out, all of their food being kept together in a spare basket as they headed outside. _  
_  
Of course their towering companion decided to comment on this, saying, “Where are you going?”  
  
Apricus pursed their lips while they glanced at Belos sideways. “The garden. I like to sit in the tree statue’s branches sometimes.”  
  
“Ah.” Belos nodded, and plastered himself at their side without asking, yet again. Apricus’ lips started to twitch, so they moved on ahead.  
  
_Bastard, why do you think I invited you?_ They kept their tongue still for now, but their agitation was painted across their face clear as day. If it were any other person, they’d back off from Apricus to give them their space.  
  
Belos however continued to follow them like a shadow as they headed through the castle halls. Apricus tried not to pay attention to him, but all around there were reminders of Belos. Grand statues lining the walls between pillars, fine tapestries, paintings, and now as they entered the grand hall the room was filled with differently colored shafts of sunlight. Apricus didn’t even have to look to know that it depicted a series of worshipers bowing before Belos while their father loomed overhead.  
  
“Apricus, tell me what’s troubling you.” The emperor asked after the youth had paused in their tracks yet again. A purple shaft of light was glowing right in their face, so they closed their eyes to keep from getting blinded. Apricus felt ugly words start to rise up their throat like steam, but they took a deep breath, and let it out gradually before anything could erupt out of them. _It’s too fucking early in the morning for this, I haven’t even had breakfast._ They gripped the handle of their basket tightly, and looked at Belos over their shoulder.  
  
“I don’t want to talk about it. Let’s just go to the garden already.” They say evenly. Belos’ shoulders visibly tensed and his hands unfurled like a pair of eagle talons, but Apricus just pursed their lips and turned their back on him. They let out a soft huff and strode forwards.  
  
Belos audibly cursed in a language Apricus couldn’t understand, but surely enough he was following again. Albeit with a foot more of distance between the two of them this time. It wasn’t far enough for the teenger, and they slightly upped the pace to hurry to the garden. _I should be the one asking what’s wrong with him! Ugh, he’s acting like the moment he looks away I’m going to shatter or something._ Their expression grew more embittered.  
  
Then, their eyes widen. _Wait, what if he actually thinks that?_ Apricus’ indignation stumbled at this idea before reigniting even fiercer than ever. Again they recalled Belos’ words, and the sound of his laughter.  
  
_“They’re_ **_human_ ** _, tough doesn’t normally belong in the same sentence.”_ _  
_ _  
_ Apricus clenched their fists as their hands started to shake. _This is stupid, I was able to brush it off then, why not now? This isn’t worth getting worked up over._ They managed to keep their anger in check for now. Finally, the shadowy halls opened up into a rhombus shaped courtyard, and Apricus let out an audible sigh of relief when they could see the sky again.  
  
The “garden” couldn’t really be called such, since no grass or permanent plants were planted there. Yes, there were some shrubs and flowers in pots, but those were changed on a near weekly rotation to keep from shriveling up. Instead, the garden got its name from the wide assortment of statues that Belos kept within this enclosure. They were all in differing states of erosion, well weathered due to the caustic nature of the boiling rains. There were around three dozen statues in total, some depicting a various assortment of demons, witches, and one great stone tree that bore a heavy resemblance to the ent Apricus befriended the other day, though this was the size of a more regular oak tree. All of these were carefully arranged to face the center of the courtyard, which had a large metal grate depicting The Emperor’s seal that functioned as a storm drain.  
  
They didn’t pay too close to any of these art installations, and instead their gaze was skyward. Slowly they trodded through the garden, already picking out which branch of the stone tree they wanted to seat themselves in. They approached the trunk of the tree, then paused. _Wait, what if he wants to sit next to me?_ Apricus then realized they didn’t feel a familiar pair of eyes boring into them, so they looked over their shoulder to glance around.  
  
Belos was to their left, standing in front of one of the larger statues, though he still towered over even this. His shoulders were shaking up and down in a rhythmic fashion that Apricus could only guess was laughter, and sure enough when they got close enough to Belos, they heard him chuckling away.  
  
“Oh, you’re laughing at the smiling one again?” Apricus asked, turning to look at the statue.  
  
It depicted what looked like a member of the emperor’s coven only without the mask. It was a demon with a jagged mouth, small spikes on his chin, and pointed ears. His face was creased in an expression of absolute anguish, complete with stone tears frozen to his cheek. Despite this obvious pain, the statue had a smile on his lips while he gazed to the left of both Apricus and Belos.  
  
Belos let out a low hum. “Hmm hmm. I still find it rather comical even after all this time. There’s just something so _pathetic_ about it that never fails to make me snicker.”  
  
Apricus didn’t have a smile on their face while they gazed up at the statue. “I guess. It always looked more kind to me, that’s why I like it.”  
  
Belos stopped laughing, the silence hanging heavy before being broken by the shifting of fabric as they felt Belos’ hand on their shoulder. “You’re allowed to have your own opinion, even if it’s wrong.” Belos said, sweet as honey.  
  
Apricus knew from experience that Belos only ever used that voice whenever he was containing his anger, or when he wanted something, or usually both. _Probably so he won’t be left heirless again._ Apricus thought cynically.  
  
Apricus scoffed. “Isn’t art supposed to be up for the viewer’s interpretation?” They mutter softly, but their father was already moving them over to the tree statue. They let out a sigh, and decided that now wasn’t the best time to try to keep testing Belos’ patience any further. Despite their distaste about being touched without him asking, they went along and approached the trunk of the stone tree.  
  
Apricus rolled up the sleeves of their white pajamas and brandished their claws, but before they could start scaling the sculpture they were engulfed in Belos’ magic. “What? Aw come on!”  
  
Then they were lifted up into the sky while Belos floated alongside, and he landed weightlessly on the broadest branch halfway up the tree. It was moments after that they themself were deposited on their feet next to him. Apricus let out a growl and edged a few more feet away from Belos before falling into a crouch. Underneath the folds of their regal red and white robe, they drew their arms around their knees.  
  
They heard what sounded like leather twisting, and before their face there was the basket they had left behind, now held aloft by Belos’ golden gauntlet. “Here, eat something. Perhaps then you won’t be so dour.” Apricus saw their grimace reflected in the shining metal on Belos’ fingers, but regardless they took their basket and lowered their legs.  
  
Now with the basket settled in their lap, they pulled out their apple and took a bite out of it. The sweet taste of the meaty fruit helped to distract them from their stormy emotions. Apricus looked out across the statue garden, from their perch they could see beyond the castle walls. Not that there was much to see beyond that, considering it sat deep in the middle of a pit in the chest of the isles. So they turned their gaze higher, looking up at the deep blue sky. Big fluffy clouds floated along lazily, and with a bit of imagination they looked like a bunch of puffy white bumblebees to Apricus.  
  
Just as they had finished their apple, Belos broke the silence. “Starlight, why have you been so sour? Tell me what’s wrong.”  
  
The mottled shafts of sunlight that had been hitting Apricus’ cheek were blocked out now that their father was doubtlessly looming over them again, and the youth made a loud sigh. “That’s the issue father, you keep doing things that I don’t like and don’t seem to get why they make me upset.” They reply.  
  
Belos inhaled sharply, but Apricus paid no mind to his agitation as they continued. “Yes, I know you’re probably thinking ‘then why don’t you just tell me?’ The answer is because I’m too angry, and if I did right now I’d be really mean. And then _you’d_ get all mad, and we’d probably have a fight and I don’t want to fight you right now.” They had their hands to the sides of their face and gesture as they spoke, their brow furrowed in frustration.  
  
“You’re not leaving me with many options.” Belos pressed, taking another step closer while he wrung his hands.  
  
“I’m too tired for this! So could you _not_ be annoying for like an hour or something so I can calm down?” Apricus answers with a flourish of their arms. When they turned to look at Belos, they regretted their choice of words immediately.  
  
_“You think I’m annoying?”_ He rasped slowly, annunciating every syllable with an ethereal tone. His hands were to his sides again, the claws of his gauntlets looking as wickedly sharp as they ever had. The Emperor’s eyes blazed like blue candles even in the light of the day while he towered over Apricus. The air around them thrummed with tension.  
  
Looking into the darkness cast by Belos’ shadow, Apricus narrowed their bright orange eyes and met his gaze without the slightest hint of fear in their heart. “Yeah, like you are right now. Let me eat my breakfast without emotional turmoil for Titan’s sake.” The teenager sassed.  
  
Belos stared at them incredulously for a long moment. _“Turmoil.”_ He repeated, Belos’ voice sounding more like the breeze whistling through the stone leaves than proper speech.  
  
_Ah shit, here we go again._ Apricus thought as they braced themselves for Belos to berate them. However, The Emperor seemed to take notice of Apricus visibly cringing and let out a low hiss while he leaned back. Apricus kept their eyes on him, skeptical of relaxing. The tension in the air was thick enough to cut with a knife, but when Belos remained silent, Apricus eventually looked away.  
  
_So he’s not going to explode on me, yet._  
  
Apricus exhaled through their nose and looked back over to their breakfast, picking up one of their sausage links and popping it into their mouth. The meat wasn’t bad, not that Apricus could enjoy it while Belos still hovered over them like a particularly persistent storm cloud. And sure enough, Apricus heard the sound of his metal gauntlets clanking as he wrung his hands.

 _Why does he do that?_ Apricus wondered while they scrunched up their face. They turned to look at Belos again to try to gauge what he was feeling, but since he was being quiet all they had to go off of was his slightly hunched posture and his narrowed eye sockets.

 _Damn he looks stressed. Maybe I should be nicer?_

Their annoyance diminishing ever so slightly out of regards to Belos, they reached out slowly to see how he'd react. Before their hand could even touch Belos, his own gauntlets came out and gently engulfed their own.

 _Just as gentle as back when he still used to hug me._ Apricus looked away before their grief could be so vividly painted on their face. _Why can't he just be cruel?_

Belos must have noticed it anyways, since he didn't loosen his grip on Apricus until they started to pull away a few minutes later. Unsure of what to think or feel, Apricus had the rest of their breakfast in silence before they climbed back down the tree.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry that was such a long time coming! Trying to figure out what to add and take for pacing has been a bit of a struggle. I'm going to try to reduce the size of updates to help with putting out chapters a bit faster, let me know if this works out.


	3. Miscommunication

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> You know that part about how I was going to write shorter chapters to try to get it out faster? Well I kinda lied. 2 months and two rewrites later, here it is.

That display of warmth was a blessed balm for his soul, but now the emperor felt as cold as ever as the light of the morning sun beat down on his robes.  
  
Those moments of tenderness didn’t last long enough for Belos. Not even an eternity would have been long enough.  
  
Belos let out a sigh after he floated to the ground, and turned to watch Apricus climb down from the stone tree. Apricus didn’t even have any slippers on while they descended the rough branches, and their clawed appendages had no issue keeping their footing.  
  
_It’d be so much easier if they just let me carry them. Titan, why don’t they like to be held anymore?_ Belos felt another pang of heartache as he already knew the answer, as much as he hated to admit it.  
  
_No, that can’t be it. They’ve always wanted my attention. But why won’t they let me show that I-_ Belos paused before he mentally acknowledged something he swore to never admit. _  
__  
__It used to be so easy._ _I could pick them up whenever I wanted. Always laughing, always smiling whenever I reached down to their little hands._ Belos’ claws softly screeched while scraping against the metal of his gauntlets, and Apricus made it down to the ground.  
  
Had his hands gotten longer? Belos was too distracted to ponder that for more than an instant. Besides, even if they had, the emperor knew he didn’t have to worry.  
  
He remembered whenever they had been so charming that Belos lowered his guard and relaxed, there were times where his physical form could be...Less than consistent. But no matter how his body would twist and distort, Apricus never took issue. In a land full of people he had striven to terrify, yet again they were the exception.  
  
He’d always worked to make sure they wouldn’t truly fear him. Belos liked to think of himself as someone who wasn’t some insecure freak who needed to terrorize innocent people to feel powerful. All the people he terrorized deserved it of course. _  
_  
That wasn’t what Belos wanted to contemplate right now however. After getting down from the tree, Apricus looked up at their father, their brow knitted from some kind of negative emotion. Disappointment? Frustration? Belos had plenty of experience with both. All his child needed to do was ask and he could tell them about it, and help them work through it. _Talk to me. Talk to me. For the love of Titan talk to me._  
  
“Father, why do you keep staring at me like that?” Apricus asks while looking him up and down, and Belos froze.  
  
_Because I miss you._ “You have been on my mind often as of late.” The emperor replied in a calm and even tone, his hands automatically reaching up to grab at his own wrists.  
  
Apricus leaned their head back a little and glanced off to the side, and Belos saw the gears turning in their head. However, they didn’t reply the way Belos wanted them to.  
  
“Ok.” Apricus shook their head and continued on their way back to the castle, most likely to put away their basket and get ready for the day.  
  
Automatically the emperor took his place at their side, and just how naturally the motion came to him made his lips twitch. _Is this what I’ve come to? Struggling and vying for the attention of my own kin? Pathetic._  
  
While he strode across the garden on a straight path, Belos’ thoughts meandered through his memories. Of working in his office, and little Apricus trying to hide underneath his desk while giggling away while he pretended to not know where they were. How at any given moment while he was seated in his throne, how his beam of sunshine would come marching in with some slimy offering. Or when they were older, and they'd come by during his meditation to tell him a silly joke or story that'd they had picked out just for him.

But now, he can't even ask them what's wrong and have them answer. And his heart, cold and decayed as it is, couldn't stay silent while he tried to look the other way.

 _They’ve spent their whole life making you happy. And what have you done to repay that?_ _  
__  
_ Belos' head felt like it was swimming in a boiling broth, but he couldn’t keep arguing with himself. _You’re lucky they came back at all. It’s stupid of you to think they’ll trust you again immediately. If they ever do._  
  
That was more introspection than Belos was willing to handle though, and the heart of the castle started to pound.  
  
Belos was suddenly aware that he’d stopped walking and that Apricus had started to leave him behind. But before he could react, they looked over their shoulder at him.  
  
“Father, you look-” They paused and looked up to the ceiling as they tried to finish their sentence. “Why don’t you take some time to yourself to relax? I’ll be fine, and you know where I’ll be anyways.”  
  
They put on a smile that was so obviously forced it made Belos want to scream. But he didn’t, and he kept his composure. Besides, Apricus was completely right. He’d been working himself up far too much, getting stressed over mistakes in the past that had no bearing on what’s going to happen now. _They’re going to love me again, we’re going to be happy together, and then Kiki will forgive me. I’m going to fix this. I just need to make a plan._  
  
_“Alright. We’ll meet again my dear star.”_ Belos said, his voice smooth as silk. Apricus waved him goodbye as they turned and continued without him down the hall.  
  
With Apricus gone, Belos snapped his fingers and manifested in the castle basement right in front of his crimson throne. Unlike the throne in the one he had upstairs, this one was illustrious and complex. Covered in solid gold he stole from one of the late Demon Lords, intricate geometric carvings went all the way across the solid sides of the chair and across the back. The upholstery was a vibrant velvet, dyed blood red and embroidered with gold thread around the seams in a repeating pattern of swords and triangles. To his modern tastes, Belos thought it all rather gaudy and unnecessary, but it was still rather comfortable, hence it coming with him when he had originally moved to this castle from the old palace.  
  
The Emperor thought little of this painstakingly crafted work of art while he sank down on the griffin down stuffed seat. Directly across from him in the cavernous room was the stairs leading down, not that Belos expected anyone to come disturb him at the current moment.  
  
The basement was his private sanctum where he’d come to relieve himself of the petty squabbling of the mortal world, as well as attend to personal matters. The only people allowed inside were himself, and the select few he would give permission to enter.  
  
Belos’ gaze drifted to the sandy pit of the training arena, with its nearby rack of swords and other weapons. It’d been awhile since he used them, too long for Belos’ tastes. But his usual sparring partner was currently feeding their pet bird while they got ready for the day.  
  
It’d been ages since their last lesson, a couple months before _They abandoned me. Gathered up their things, took my staff, and carved out my chest for good measure._  
  
The emperor’s hand raised and pressed against a wound on his breast that wasn’t present, but he felt all the same.  
  
“ _A fitting punishment for disregarding what The Titan gave me. But all will be as it should be.”_ He droned as his face contorted hideously behind his mask. It would have been impossible to be recognized as a smile by any normal being, and neither would have Belos thought of it himself since it was fueled by his own misery. But thankfully, his mask obscured this horrific sight from the rest of the world.  
  
His attempts at concocting schemes in order to satiate his paternal inclinations go about as well as one would expect. With lots of muttering and mild curses as struggled to put everything together. However, Belos did manage to come up with one concrete idea after several hours.  
  
“I should make them laugh.” Belos mutters as he circles the words ‘comedy’ on his chalkboard amidst a crowd of powdery white crosses.  
  
“It’s innocent, it’s genuine, and something we can both enjoy. Yes...excellent. Now, how should I make them laugh?” Belos asked his silent audience. Of course he had no answer, but Belos made a contemplative hum regardless as he put his hand up to the tip of the beak on his mask.  
  
Belos continued to ponder, but the longer he went without coming up with a clear answer, the more powerful his sense of dread became.  
  
Whenever he had laughed with Apricus, it had been because they were trying to make _him_ laugh, they were the one to seek him out to bring joy into his life. The last time he had sought them out to make them happy before they ran away from home was a decade ago.  
  
“No, no, Belos you _know_ them. You’re just making this harder for yourself than it has to be.” He took a deep breath, and let it out slowly. As he gradually calmed himself down, his thoughts became more decipherable and two facts sharpened into focus.  
  
“Apricus loves terrible puns, and they love animals. Particularly insects. Ergo, I should make puns about said creatures.” He narrated as he wrote it out on his chalkboard.  
  
“What would you call a fly without wings? A walk. _Hm, too deadpan._ What does a butterfly baking a cake never want to run out of? Flour. _Now that’s just weak._ ”  
  
Belos groaned and wiped his face with his free hand. “I’m going to be here all day aren’t I?” He made a small huff and put his hand on his hip while he stared long and hard at his chalkboard. However, while he was trying to concentrate, Belos heard his favorite sound ring from across the castle. A smile already on his lips, Belos reached through the connection to his greater body.  
  
There was his sweet child, their hair tied up into their usual buns that bounced as they laughed aloud. Their voice was so loud and bright, it filled Belos with a warm delight. But then he noticed their company, a member of his coven who was laughing along with Apricus.  
  
“I heard a beastkeeper bragging about breeding a new type of talking bee, un _bee_ livable, wouldn’t you say Prince Apricus?”  
  
Apricus cracked up in response to the tall woman’s pun, and reached up to their shoulder to hold their pet bird to make sure it wouldn’t lose balance on their perch. The pigeon squabbled in distaste, but that couldn’t hold a candle to the vile emotions that were rising up in Belos.  
  
“That’s the wench who kept asking me to heal her sister.” Belos muttered as he recalled exactly two instances of this over the course of a decade. And each time Belos had told her to ‘earn it’, and Lilith’s response had been to redouble her efforts in service of The Emperor.  
  
“ _And now she thinks she can manipulate Starlight to try to sway me?”_ Belos chuckled bitterly. Just as he was starting to twist himself into knots, Apricus paused their joyous laughter to speak to Lilith.  
  
“There actually is a species of talking bee here on the isles. It’s called _Homo Apis!_ I’ve tried handling one before, but like most bees they don’t take kindly to being picked up.” Apricus said, then they let out a heartfelt sigh. “I wish I could hold a bee without it stinging me, that’d be neat.”  
  
Belos’ slit eyes widened with intrigue. _Good to know._ Belos mentally remarked, but then he went right back to imbibing in his own venom.  
  


* * *

  
  
Apricus couldn't see Lilith's facial expression behind her mask, but just from the way she had her hands closed together when she spoke to them they could tell she was feeling hopeful.   
  
"I needed a good laugh, thank you for telling me that joke." Apricus said sweetly, meaning every word of what they said.  
  
"I'm glad to be of service." Lilith replied graciously. Apricus liked to read the rosters of new transfers whenever they had the opportunity, and as such had known of Lilith for awhile.  
  
"Do you like bugs any? I think they're _so_ cool!" Apricus asked as they tilted their head. They knew their new manner of speaking made them sound much less refined than Belos would have preferred, but Apricus only saw that as an added bonus. Their real aim however was to try to be more approachable to other people, and as far as they could tell it was working.  
  
"I will admit, I have always been more fond of avians myself." Lilith replied, before hastily adding, "Not that I mind insects."  
  
"They're both neat!" Apricus chirped, and their pet pigeon cooed in confirmation. Their smile broadened as they noticed Lilith's gaze wander over to the bird.  
  
"This is Sprinkles by the way, she's a domesticated Rock Dove from the human world." They reached up and took the pigeon into their hands gently, and aside from a quick flutter of her wings, Sprinkles was happy to sit in their hands like a fat little lump. Lilith watched the bird with interest, so Apricus went ahead to have a minor infodump.  
  
"Humans actually bred these birds for thousands of years. That's why she has such pretty blue feathers and a sweet personality, even if she's feral." The pigeon started nibbling at Apricus' fingers, so they loosened their grip so she could get more comfortable. "They were bred for eggs, companionship, carrying messages, making fertilizer, and also meat. I mostly keep Sprinkles for the second part though."  
  
Lilith nodded along respectfully as she listened, and then knit her fingers together. "Very interesting. What are her feathers like? They look silky."  
  
"That's because they are. Would you like to pet her?" Apricus replied as they held their bird out to her.  
  
"Really?" Lilith sounded genuinely surprised, but when Apricus nodded she reached out her hands. "Thank you Prince-"  
  
Just as Lilith's hands were about to get close to possibly brushing Apricus', she froze. Then she let out a soft gasp as she flinched before she started to back away.   
  
Sprinkles startled and flapped up into the air before landing on Apricus' head. The youth held their hands up in a placating gesture, however the sight of the crescent moons on their palms only seemed to unsettle Lilith further.  
  
"Are you okay?" Apricus asked.  
  
"Y-yes Prince Apricus! I apologize for not knowing my place! I'll cease disturbing you immediately!" Lilith cried, before turning around and all but running to get out of the situation.  
  
"Wait, Lilith!" Apricus called, but Lilith had already retreated behind a corner at the end of the hall.  
  
Gobsmacked, Apricus put their hand to their cheek and stared at the wall. "What the heck was that?" They wondered aloud.

 _That conversation was going great! We were both having a great time, what went wrong? I didn't even say anything weird!_ _  
  
_Apricus’ orange eyes caught on a long tapestry depicting Belos on the wall, looming over all who pass by it. Surrounded by a pair of pillars with eyes carved along it's length, it served as a constant reminder of who could be listening.  
  
The realization hit them all at once. The youth's shoulders sagged as they hugged their arms to their chest. _Stupid Father. Stupid rules. Why'd I think anything had gotten better?_ Apricus gritted their teeth and screwed their eyes shut to keep in the pain that was welling up in their chest.  
  
“What, you think I'll disintegrate or something?" Apricus sneered. There was no reply, not that they expected one.  
  
They scowled as they strode away, their irritation only soothed by the comforting weight of Sprinkles nesting on their head.  
  
_I hope Auntie can take a break from work._ They up the pace as they chew on their lip, passing by countless reminders of Belos on their way to Kikimora’s office. The more depictions of their father they saw the more angry they became, so much so that they had to stop in their tracks and put their hands over their mouth just to keep any unbecoming noises from coming out.  
  
_Fuck I need to go outside._ Moving at a brisk pace, but not sprinting as to draw unwanted attention, they headed back into the statue garden and hurry to the center of the garden, one of the few places that they knew Belos’ hearing was somewhat muffled due to lacking a ceiling.  
  
They seated themselves at the feet of the statue of the tall Emperor Coven’s member Belos had been jeering at earlier. Even now, they found his smile to be comforting despite the pain it conveyed.  
  
Then, and only then, they allowed their tears to flow freely, and they softly wept while they cradled their beloved pet bird. Just for a moment, Apricus indulged in the fantasy that if this statue was a person, then it might have been someone who would have cared about them.  
  
_“Rotten bastard._ ‘Cause of him I can’t make any friends. All I’ve got is you and Sprinkles. You can’t even move any and Sprinkles is just a bird. It’s like he _wants_ me to be miserable.” Apricus grumbled quietly to themself as they gently pet the top of their pigeon’s head.  
  
_What about your human friends?_ _  
__  
_ “They’re in the human realm, and if they knew who I was they’d probably hate me.” Apricus muttered as they propped their head up on one hand.  
  
_I’d doubt that, they sound like kind people based off of everything you’ve told me. They'd still care about you._  
  
Their lips quirk upwards in the ghost of a smile, but then it goes back into a hard pressed line. “Then why can’t Father do it?”  
  
_He is a man who has built his life around having a near total disregard for the well being of others. To ask him to change that about himself is like expecting a rock to swim._  
  
Apricus covers their mouth again and closes their eyes. “Don’t say that, I mean-” They take a deep breath, and let it out slowly. “I think he did love me at one point. Maybe. I dunno. He’s...he’s definitely been acting weird lately at least?” The youth carefully sets Sprinkles down in their lap and throws up their hands.  
  
“Fuck though, you might be right. Him harassing me might just be some stupid game of his. _‘Oh, what fun it is to give little Starlight some false hope before I tear it away again! I might as well get some sort of enjoyment of such a useless child.’_ ” Apricus’ impersonation of Belos’ cadence was perfect enough to send shivers in almost any listener, even with their higher pitched voice. They promptly gagged and rolled their eyes as soon as they were done.  
  
“But Aunty has to have _some_ reason for still caring about him. So he’s probably not that cruel. Mhm _._ ”  
_  
_ Apricus let out a snort and idly looked up at the statue they were sitting next to. “Maybe it’s ‘cause of his good taste in art. The murals and stained glass aside of course.” They looked up at the smiling statue again, and smiled bitter-sweetly. They’d never admit how much comfort this hunk of stone had offered them when they were younger, but this fondness reminded them of something else that upset them.  
  
“Ughhh, I just wish he’d told me who made all these statues! I’d love to study with an artist who can make something so lifelike. Well, not that he’d probably let me.” They blew a stray strand of hair out of their face and promptly pouted.  
  
“Let you do what?” Speaking of the devil, there standing before Apricus was Emperor Belos himself.  
  
Every muscle in the youth’s body tensed, and they slowly turned their head around to look up at him with the most innocent smile they could manage. _Oh fuck, I hope he didn’t hear all of that._  
  
Considering that Belos didn’t look agitated or offended in any way their hope seemed to have been answered. However, when he noticed that their eyes were still puffy and red from crying, the temperature in the air around them chilled by several degrees.  
  
In an unnaturally fluid motion, Belos crouched down and cupped Apricus’ cheek in the palm of his metal gauntlet. It struck them as odd at how unusually warm it was compared to the surrounding air, but not as much as the fact that he was touching them _without asking_.  
  
Their eyebrow twitched in annoyance at the veritable mountain of a man clasping at their face. Then there came that low droning sound, a drawn out and deep tone like wind howling across a snow blanketed tundra before slowly tapering off.  
  
_Wait, what the fuck is he doing?_  
  
Belos’ figure was so wide he cloaked Apricus in shadow as he spread his arms apart, and he slowly leaned in closer, and closer until-  
  
There was an explosion of squabbling and feathers as Sprinkles tried to escape, and Belos let go of Apricus as he leaned back. _“Blasted animal.”_ Belos muttered while the frightened creature flew away.  
  
“Well you shouldn’t have scared her!” Apricus said indignantly while they folded their arms. “She’s just a little birdie, of course she’s gonna get scared when you’re like over 8 feet tall and get up in her face.”  
  
The emperor picked a blue and grey striped feather off of his robes and flicked it away. _“That’s hardly important.”_ Belos turned to look down at Apricus’ again, and his harsh gaze relaxed.  
  
“...Apricus. I can surely aid in what troubles you.” He said in a soft and soothing voice. He lifted his hand up and reached for their face again, but Apricus swiftly scooted to the side.  
  
_It’s you. It’s always been you._ _  
__  
_ “I don’t want to talk about it.” They reply, as they folded their arms. Apricus wasn’t looking at Belos, but based off of the hissing intake of breath they knew they’d frustrated him again.  
  
However, instead of a sharp retort, Belos let out a breathy little chuckle. “Alright then honey, how about something more appealing?”  
  
There was a flash of red light so bright Apricus had to shield their eyes. Blinking away their blindness, to Apricus’ surprise Belos was nowhere to be seen. The youth scrunched up their face in confusion, before upturning their right hand and placing the other on their hip. “Did he just ditch me in the middle of a conversation?”  
  
Apricus huffed and rolled their eyes, but before they could say something sarcastic, they felt something very small and fuzzy land on their palm.  
  
  
Several different emotions Apricus couldn’t begin to process surged through their chest. For a minute, all they could do was stare in awe at the sight of Emperor Belos cuddling up in their hand as a gilded insect. Beelos stared back up at them with his shiny eyes, and fluttered his curved wings expectantly.  
  
Apricus’ lips twitched upwards and they narrowed their eyes as they started to feel borderline hysterical. They took several shallow breaths, and bit their lip to try to keep in their chortles. But they couldn’t keep it for long, and they laughed wholeheartedly in Beelos’ face.  
  
“ _Are you fucking kidding me?_ I just wanted to cry in peace and you come at me as a bee?” Apricus held the side of their head with their free hand and let out a strained wheeze.  
  
“I don’t even know what to think. This is absolutely absurd. I’ve been feeling like shit basically all day and you come in with _this-”_ They point a black claw at Beelos, who at this point had plastered himself against their fingers and was currently vibrating in place. “And you expect me to suddenly be okay? Like I’m just some little kid with no attention span?” Apricus' pupils narrowed into slits.  
  
“I know you don’t respect me, but you don’t have to be so obvious about it.” The youth muttered as they lowered their hand to the ground so Beelos could climb off safely. Instead, there was another small flash of red light, and their father was truly gone this time.  
  
Apricus snorted, and slowly rose to their feet while they went to go see where their bird had flown off to.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Fun fact, did you know the original titles for this fic were "Belos Ruins Everything The Musical" and "Belos is a Terrible Father 2"?
> 
> Art by coventual-interests on tumblr.


End file.
